The Handsome Butch

Springtime Style with dapperQ, Qwear, Three Leaves Et Al

Last weekend dapperQ organized a video shoot at Three Leaves, a Red Hook-based ethical menswear retailer. Sonia of Qwear and I shared this brotherly moment (in white and nautical stripes because it’s finally spring):

I want to thank dapperQ for bringing us and many other very fine queers (of Autostraddle, Brooklyn Boihood and Phresh Cutz fame) together and Three Leaves for both hosting and providing handsome, consciously-made garments. Kindly stay tuned for dapperQ’s forthcoming post! In the meantime, you can check out Qwear for more.

While you’re here, folks: I have something handsome planned for May 26th here in Brooklyn. Save the date!

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Happy first day of spring

Congratulations on making it through winter, folks! Tell me: what are you looking forward to wearing this spring?

Before I start wearing color (remember color?) again, I’m just dressing clean and light. Something like this:

As you can tell by the filter on this picture of my monochromatic crewneck style, I’m on Instagram. I hope you’ll start following me there too.

One other thing I want to let you folks know about is that I’ve started answering tailoring questions on Qwear. I recently had the pleasure of meeting its founder Sonia and now we’re pretty much best buds (photographic proof on Instagram!).

Between the equinox, the first glimpses of spring style, handsome butch-ing on Instagram and Qwear, not to mention Mercury not being in retrograde, I’m feeling damn good, and I hope y’all are too.

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An Extravagant, Practical & Revolutionary Thing

I am delighted to let you folks know that I wrote a post for the Huffington Post’s Gay Voices blog. Here’s an excerpt:

I believe one’s clothes shouldn’t make one feel worse about things that already feel badly (like funerals), or not-good about things that are meant to feel good (like weddings), or — while I’m at it — things that may feel badly or not-good when they can actually feel good, like interviews. I know the word handsome isn’t perfect and not everyone relates to it, so I’d like to add that I think we all have the right to have our bodies and identities affirmed, honored and respected, and that’s not just something we do for ourselves and each other. It’s something our clothes do for us.

Read the the whole post here!

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The Inevitable Valentine’s Day Post

You folks already know I’m into gifts (see One Last Post on Gifts for 2012, Tiny Gifts for Handsome Folks, Sweetheart’s Holiday Gift Guide, The Handsome Butch’s Holiday Gift Guide) and more importantly romance (have I mentioned I love all of you?), so this is the inevitable Valentine’s Day post.

Really I think the sweetest thing you can do for your sweetie is to do something with your sweetie. (I’m trying to say sweetie as much as possible here obviously.) This romantic humbly recommends you cook together. Browse recipes over at the Smitten Kitchen or pick up a copy of Smitten’s first cookbook:

Or there’s always The Alice B. Toklas Cookbook:

Who wouldn’t enjoy a book of character, fine food and tasty human observation?

I also recommend taking a bath together (after making sugar scrub!), doing something sexy together (visit Babeland or Agent Provocateur or Journelle), buying tickets to see Fleetwood Mac together, etc.

My sweetheart and I are going to shoot guns together at the Westside Pistol Range. Afterward we’re going to drink Love Buzz, a saison from Anchorage Brewing Company:

If you want to get your sweetie a little something, I have a handful of new recommendations.

Conveniently, Brooklyn’s catbird has a “gifts for your dream boat” section, which features this fancy-pants Deborah Lippman nail polish ($18):

And this lovely brass arrow cuff ($60):

For folks who wear jackets, there are these tiny lapel flowers that Hook + Albert make:

The tiniest size is $26. Browse ‘em here.

For folks who wear boxers, consider this 100% cotton (also 100% cute) pair from UNIQLO:

Or these:

They’re also from UNIQLO, but because they’re silky dry technology, they’re $12.90 a pair. I wrote about these boxers in What I Learned This Summer, and mentioned the white pair’s sheer which for me means my thigh tattoo is visible through ‘em (and while that’s somewhat TMI, it’s really just to say FYI these are pretty sexy).

I think the following ideas are applicable to all sweeties. First there’s Cheryl Strayed’s Tiny Beautiful Things, which is like the emotional I Ching:

Yes, the edge of the cover says “Let yourself be gutted. Let it open you. Start here.” And yes the first column is #41 Like an Iron Bell. I ask you: what better day of the year is there to read the sentence “My mother’s last word to me clanks inside me like an iron bell that someone beats at dinnertime: love, love, love, love, love.” Read it alone, read it side-by-side together, read it.

I included a florist in my post 7 Professionals Every Handsome Queer Needs in Their Corner. If you’re in Brooklyn, I recommend Rose Red & Lavender. I just got these flowers from there the other night:

I love this shop because the florists who work there make it a safe space for me to walk in and say I don’t know what’s in season, but I love beautiful, wild-looking flowers that look like they’ve been picked from the countryside (I actually said all of that), and then they happily put together perfect arrangements. I love to give flowers, and I also love to be given them. This is just a tender reminder that having flowers on one’s bedside or kitchen table not only improves the aesthetic of one’s life, but probably the quality too. I should add these are admittedly fancy flowers. Needless to say this $5 bouquet also improved the aesthetic and quality of our lives:

Never underestimate the power of carnations.

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Bindle & Keep update

There’s a new post up on the Bindle & Keep blog highlighting some of the work I’ve done as a queer clothier. I am psyched and proud, so I hope you’ll check it out, folks. Here’s the link: Filmmaker & Actress Kelly Sebastian’s 3-Piece Wedding Suit

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Grooming for Handsome Folks

Today I forgot to put lotion on before leaving the house, probably because I was distracted by this punim:

Now I feel like I’m wearing a very dry (it’s winter y’all) mask instead of my own punim. Typically I use Aveeno Ultra-Calming (because it’s important to have an ultra-calm face) daily moisturizer which has SPF 15 in it. It’s crucial to wear sunblock every day, and there’s no easier way to do that than using lotion that has some in it. Even when we do not gaze into the sun, it gazes into us (please forgive this really poor version of Nietzsche). This is something you can find in your local pharmacy for about $13, or on Drugstore.com (for $13.43).

Here are some of the other products I use on a daily basis:

First there’s pomade, or “old-fashioned men’s grooming aid” as my barber calls it, which I have written about too many times to write about again, so here’s my post on pomades titled Pomades, plus A Tiny Present from the Handsome Butch. (If you were wondering, by the way, who was randomly selected to receive that tiny present from me, it was Tomboy Tailors out in San Francisco. Hi Zel!)

When you need to wash that pomade out, I recommend trying Caswell-Massey’s Dr. Hunter’s Hair Wash:

This fine shampoo is made with Glycerine, Vitamin B, Sweet Almond Oil and Ginseng which condition your hair and scalp, while extracts of Rosemary, Parsley and Lemongrass “restore its luster.” Use this “for a luscious head of hair” (as it says on the bottle). $16 and free of animal ingredients (and of course then not tested on animals). Not bad folks.

Next there’s another Caswell-Massey Greenbriar cologne, which I also wrote about once in Looking for a New Cologne? Unfortunately it looks like Caswell-Massey doesn’t carry their cologne sampler right now, but I do recommend considering this (vegan!) one from Portland General Store:

My apologies for redirecting you folks to old posts, but I don’t want to be redundant. I wrote about these vegan colognes, which have scents like tobacco, moss, whiskey, cardamom, something-or-other and sandalwood in Tiny Gifts for Handsome Folks. Also in that post is Swedish Dream sea salt soap. 

The next product I use every morning is Chiefs face wash. It’s made with ginseng, menthol and peppermint (these ingredients really make waking up feel more like WAKING UP instead of well, w a k i n g  u p). You can pick this up for $17 at The Motley, a webstore that specializes in “superior grooming products for men” (and perhaps unbeknownst to them, butches, et al). 

I should add: since this is a face wash and not a face scrub, it doesn’t exfoliate. So there are some additional products you may wish to consider for, say, weekly exfoliation rituals. You can peruse your choices at The Motley. You can also try this (vegan) face bomb from the aforementioned Portland General Store:

I think Kiehl’s Facial Fuel works exceptionally well. It’s made with vitamins C and E, chestnut extract and soy. You can order it from Kiehl’s for $25.

The last of the products pictured above is Burt’s Bees Natural Skin Care deodorant. It’s made with citrus, Cyprus and fir (in other words, it smells good). Burt’s Bees generally sells this for $8 but it’s on sale for $7. They also carry another deodorant that I really like, which is a very piney spray-on option. The pine smell is from sage, but there are also notes of lavender and lemon. You can it up for $8. If you’re like me you want to smell good (and ideally like a woodsman) but also don’t want to take any mental or physical health risks (as aluminum and other ingredients may in part cause Alzheimer’s or cancer) just to achieve that. Natural deodorants like these ones are thus crucial.

As always, please feel free to comment on the grooming products you use.

[Relevant Posts: Ready for the Country <—more puppy punim there, One Last Posts on Gifts for 2012 <—homebrew shampoo bars, Sweetheart’s Holiday Gift Guide <—DIY sugar scrub recipes]

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Thanks to Autostraddle, and to you, and to my grandfather

Before I begin, I’d like to thank my homegirl Gab for including me in her Autostraddle post Top 7 Style Blogs for the Aesthetically Oriented Queer yesterday. On the last day of 2012, I posted 06/20/12-12/31/12 thanking my 105 followers here; I’d like to update that and say thank you to my 317 followers, not to mention the 413 (up from 387) folks following @handsomebutches. As I said yesterday on Twitter, I’m both humbled and psyched.

Without further ado, my first proper post of 2013. As you may have seen, I wrote briefly in Tiny Gifts for Handsome Folks about how my sweetheart bought me a book called How to Build a Fire and Other Handy Things Your Grandfather Knew when we first starting dating, likely because I mentioned I was raised by my grandparents and really admired my grandfather for being a gentleman who could (and did) build a house. It’s been two years since I received that gift, and two and a half years since my grandfather passed away. I’ve decided to start 2013 by writing about some of the things I’ve inherited from my grandfather.

First, kindly lay your eyes on this photograph of the handsome guy taken in 1955 doing two things I never saw him do (running and smoking a cigar nbd):

Looking at this makes me realize I probably also inherited the inclination to tuck my shirts in from my grandfather. Anyway, onto the first thing, which is my grandfather’s Cross ballpoint pen:

As anyone inheriting something precious might do, I opened the pen to look inside it, unsure as to what I was expecting to find, and actually ended up finding something worth looking at (if it’s too-tiny-to-see, this ink refill is from Tiffany & Co.):

My grandfather hung (okay hanged) this antique rifle over the fireplace and these suspenders in his closet at our old house:

I’d like to add that this rifle, which family gossip tells me is possibly from the Civil War, was and continues to be entirely decorative; my grandfather filled it with cement to make sure it posed no threat. I plan to hang it above my mantle someday (when hopefully I have a mantle), and only to take it down to do curls with it (as it weighs a ton). Last but not least I have my grandfather’s shoe trees, which will also be decorative as they’re too large for me to use on my shoes:

It’s only January 3rd so I’m still looking backward and forward simultaneously. I know it’s a privilege (in all meanings of this word) to have inherited these things, and while I look forward to either living forever and cherishing them always or, you know, leaving them to someone who will also cherish them, there’s something else I’m trying to say, and it’s about style, but it’s also about how meaningful style can be.

I’ve learned that it’s important to have a good pen with which to honor your feelings and ideas (or even just to write your rent check because if you’re going to do that every month, you might as well find a way to make it feel good, if only aesthetically), and that if you’re going to have any antique decorative guns to fill them the heck up with cement to protect your family, and that you deserve a nice pair of shoes, and shoe trees too.

I’ve also learned that Gold Toe socks never slide down:

And that it’s never too early in your life to start wearing really comfortable long-sleeved polo sweaters:

And that if you get tribute tattoos for the people who helped invent you and empower you to then reinvent yourself, they may well be the only tattoos you never regret:

(Needless to say when I say “you” I am strictly talking about myself.)

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New Year’s Day

I just want to thank you all again and to wish you the happiest, healthiest and handsomest (which is apparently and thankfully a word) new year.

Also: a gentle reminder to sage your homes for 2013. 

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06/20/12-12/31/12

As of this moment, I have 105 followers here and 387 over on Twitter. What can I say other than: thank you. I’ve done the thing most folks do on the precipice of a new year- look backward and also forward- and I’ve put together this abridged history of The Handsome Butch.

Things that happened here:

I posted 7 Professionals Every Handsome Queer Needs in Their Corner back in July. This is the first time I ever said “you have the right to be handsome” and it felt like no big deal to type that, but afterward I realized it might be a big deal. Turns out those are probably the best words I wrote in 2012. Please visit my archives to see 22 other posts on binders, boxers, pomades, colognes, suits, beautiful things, missed connections, pocket knives, small businesses, Bill Clinton, etc. 

A lot of things that happened on Twitter:

I became friends with the fine gents behind The Test Shot. We inaugurated an annual holiday hanky exchange:

And just yesterday Jamie (who’s 1/2 of The Test Shot) surprised (and delighted) me by getting a haircut inspired by my haircut:

Qwear and I were acquainted (and now that I know you—I’d like to say thanks Sonia instead of folks!):

Closet Freaks and I were acquainted:

Sometimes I said a useful thing:

There was TMI (just this once):

Last but not least, my first tweet:

Looks like The Handsome Butch was born on June 20th. It’s been seven months and I can’t tell you how good it feels to have gained an audience. So thank you again.

Things that happened elsewhere on the Internet:

I joined dapperQ as a contributor:

You’ll find my posts on how to make one suit versatile enough to wear to every wedding you attend etc here.

(Please note: some of you may be surprised to find out my first name’s Rachel not Handsome but please know you are welcome to continue addressing me as the latter because it’s the most charming thing that happened to me in 2012.)

Things that happened IRL:

I was hired by Bindle & Keep to be their queer clothier. Also I got 50 haircuts.

——————————————————————————————————————

Like most folks, I’m working on a list of new year’s resolutions so I can become an even better version of myself in 2013. As this is a style blog, I’ll mention a handful of my style-oriented resolutions:

1. Make being The Handsome Butch my job. After all, it’s good to be ambitious.

2. Learn to darn and sew so I can mend my own sweaters and shirts.

3. Sweet-talk The Test Shot into staging a transatlantic test shoot.

4. Measure as many of you as possible for $40 custom shirts at a THB x Bindle & Keep NEW YEAR, NEW SHIRT party. I’m sorry to make such a bad joke, but I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve folks. Please stay tuned.

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Notes on a Ritual

Every week I go here:

My barber cleans up my part and tightens my fade:

And he gives me this low and tight (and shaves my neck with a straight razor):

Then we take turns saying “see you next week man, nice talkin’ with ya, take it easy,” etc. Something I just realized is: we did this approximately 50 times in 2012. To rituals.  

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